So I'm blogging with a fellow Christian this past week and end up putting my foot in my mouth (as I am too often wont to do). At any rate, some comments made by my good friend seemed to imply that I had interpreted the bible using 'man's wisdom' and she tried to interpret the Bible seeing only what God wanted her to see. I was wrong.....as it turns out, that's not at all what she meant - but I didn't find that out until AFTER I had inserted my foot into my mouth - I submitted that her comments seemed 'a bit arrogant' to me. My gracious friend and I worked through the misunderstanding very quickly and very gracefully, but I cannot say the same about other good Christian friends (of hers, that is). I am saddened at how often Christians 'jump in' to the defense of others with, I'm sure, the best of intentions - or at least to show loyalty to their friends. In this case, however, as is often the case, emotions run stronger than wisdom and attitudes are displayed that are not at all what I believe to be a reflection of Christ.
I'm not sure what the correct response should be for those who are not directly involved in a misunderstanding, but still want to show loyalty to one or the other parties who are involved. My first thought is that, unless directly involved, input from those outside the misunderstanding usually only serves to muddy the waters - and I really like my first thought in this instance. :) Yet, what would be an appropriate response when I just REALLY, REALLY feel that my friend needs help? Of the three people who joined in offering me advise (funny, didn't Job have three friends too?), one simply used humor & tried to help me see that there is no way my gracious friend would have meant the comment in an arrogant way because that just isn't who she is - I really like that kind of response as well. :)
One of the others offering input tried the 'counselor' approach and offered insight into why I might have read the comments as arrogant - I think the counsel was that I was having a personality crisis and trouble at work & needed to just cast all my cares on the Lord. While the advice about casting cares on the Lord is always sage, I wasn't too big on this response. :)
The third person, the least Christlike of the three, proceeded to accuse me of being a bigot, being high & mighty, being holier than thou, being arrogant, etc., etc. I wasn't too big on this response either. :)
Do I understand why these well intentioned (at least I assume they were) advice givers felt the need to offer their preverbial '2 cents worth'? Of course - a beloved friend of theirs had been slighted (they felt). Was it the best way to help resolve the issue? Probably not.
Why am I blogging this experience? Because, as my gracious friend and I agree, every experience is set before us by God for a reason. As I shared with my friend, the most obvious growth potential for me is to learn to question a fellow blogger and ask for clarification when I feel slighted by someone's comments - BEFORE suggesting that those comments are arrogant, or rude, or whatever else I may feel. In addition, however, it has also reinforced the belief that, if I'm not central to a misunderstanding, unsolicited comments made by me will usually serve to hinder, rather than help, clearing up the matter. Oh, how difficult it is, though, to not take up offenses for others.

PTL